From the Quad

Launching

When a teen "launches," it can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling experiences that a family can have.

However, more often than not, it is a time of stress, anxiety, despair, and doubt...and that's just for the parents! The "family life cycle phase" of launching is a pivotal milestone for which most families need to prepare in advance. It redefines everyone's role, including the teen to young adult, the parents to Empty Nesters, the siblings to new roles and functions, and maybe even who will now take out the garbage.

The launching phase doesn't just happen when a teen goes off to college; it starts years before in the preparation for leaving home. Most families focus on the academic factor of how a teen launches, asking "are their grades and test score good enough to get into a good school?" However, the emotional and social factors of the teen's maturity to "thrive in the world" also need to be addressed and developed. Additionally, the parents need to do their part in providing a sound and emotionally secure launch pad.

Some say "it takes a village" to raise a well-rounded child. In fact, with some statistics reporting that as much as 30% of incoming college freshmen will never graduate and 50% will take more than the traditional four years to graduate, today's parents may need a Support Team. A team could be compiled of tutors, consultants, coaches, and counselors to help their teen deal with the myriad of stressors in assessing the appropriate "next step" that leaving home may entail.

Taking a broader look at your child's future options is very important. "Options", by their very nature, help reduce stress and anxiety. Getting help to objectively look at your teen's personality, talents, strengths, and potential growth areas is not only a wise financial investment but also will help reduce the family's stress of managing the anxiety of an uncertain future. A well mapped and versatile course of options is just one way to insure a more successful launching.

Michael Fontana, LMFT

Michael Fontana, LMFT, is a Family Therapist and Coach with an office in Westport, CT. He can be reached at mikefontana@gmail.com

Welcome to ‘reading season’...

 

when boarding school admission committees sequester themselves to read files and meet to discuss each candidate. Schools weigh aspects of the file (interview, application and essays, teacher recommendations, standardized scores, extra-curricular pursuits) differently, and predicting admission outcomes can be difficult. Keep in mind that only the school can know who and what it needs in order to build and balance a class.

• March 10^th is decision day for boarding schools.  Although most schools mail their decisions, some post to their website, and others may call a candidate with good news. Feel free to contact the admission offices to ask how they will communicate their decisions.
• Re-visit Days for accepted students are offered the end of March and beginning of April.  For students not certain of their first choice, these days allow students to revisit and reconsider their schools.  They are assessing and deciding which environment and culture feels like the best ‘fit’ by meeting students, visiting classes, socializing in the dorms and speaking with teachers and coaches.  There are separate informational programs offered for parents.
• If you receive a waitlist decision, you will be asked if you want to remain on the waitlist. If this is the case, respond immediately. If the school is a “first choice” and the student will enroll if accepted, now is the time to make sure the school fully understands this in a hand-written letter from the student.  The letter should include reasons why the school is a ‘first choice’.
• Decisions must be communicated to schools by April 10^th.  When students have trouble deciding, encourage them to ‘follow their gut’ even if they can’t articulate why one school stands out over another. There are intangible subtleties to each campus that make schools unique and good fits for certain students.

Helpful Hint for Students: When in doubt, flip a coin and see how you feel about the result. If you want to flip again, maybe the wrong school won the coin toss. If you are happy, then that’s the school for you!

The Bertram Hug

What exactly is "The Bertram Hug?"

We love kids, we believe in kids, we are all about helping them blossom into the best, most self aware, empowered versions of themselves. We do the job, but it is the reason BEHIND why we do our jobs that matters. We do a good job because we understand what kids need in a school because we 'get' kids and we 'get' schools and school culture. I think it is in part because we have had our own kids and we understand the parents' point of view. We DO personalize, we can put ourselves in their shoes and understand a little bit about how they are feeling as they navigate this process.

We think the other side of the equation is that we are liked and respected by schools, so the families feel the warmth of being a Bertram family reflected back at them when they visit and are welcomed warmly.

And, many of our clients (adults and students alike) describe that feeling as "The Bertram Hug."  Sometimes it can be a physical hug, but always it is the aura of care, nurturing and attention that every parent and student can count on when working with our team of professionals.